Curse Me, Chadwick
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Curse Me, Chadwick
Buy for $3.99
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Narrated by:
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Virtual Voice
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By:
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Dark Goddess
This title uses virtual voice narration
What if the universe finally answered your prayer—just to laugh in your face?
Chadwick’s life is aggressively fine: a tech job that pays too well, a wife who’s not leaving, kids who mostly behave, and an HOA that polices grass clippings like commandments. But when beige existence starts to feel like purgatory, he decides to do the unthinkable—pay someone to curse him.
From suburban pagan meetups to Southern rootworkers, saints-for-hire, and a goddess who eats the world’s leftovers, Chadwick’s spiritual stunt spirals into a darkly comic pilgrimage through faith, hubris, and proof-seeking gone feral.
What begins as a joke turns biblical as every “lesson” he buys demands a piece of his peace.
By the time the amulet cools and the saints hang up, Chadwick’s no longer asking if magic is real—
he’s just trying to survive the punchline.
✨ A smart, short haunting satire about belief, boredom, and the holy consequences of asking for more.
Perfect for fans of American Gods, The Good Place, and The Midnight Gospel.
(Under 9,000 words.)