UNMATCHED: The Most Unhinged First Messages in Dating App History Audiobook By Sharp Pen Publishing cover art

UNMATCHED: The Most Unhinged First Messages in Dating App History

250+ Weird, Cringe, and Hilariously Awful Dating App Conversations That Should Never Have Happened

 Virtual Voice Sample

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This title uses virtual voice narration

Virtual voice is computer-generated narration for audiobooks.
Some people should never be allowed near a dating app.

This is a book about them.

UNMATCHED is a collection of 250+ of the weirdest, cringiest, and most hilariously unhinged first messages in dating app history. From copy-paste disasters and autocorrect catastrophes to existential philosophers and people who open with their credit score — every page features conversations that will make you laugh, cringe, or lose a little more faith in humanity.

Featuring 12 chapters of dating chaos:

• The Copy-Paste Kings — mass-sent openers that weren’t even personalised
• Cheesy & They Know It — pickup lines so bad they loop back to... still bad
• The Oversharer — first message = full autobiography
• Creepy Compliments — started sweet, ended with a restraining order
• The Philosopher — existential crises before breakfast
• Autocorrect Apocalypse — one typo changed everything
• Humble Brag or Just Brag? — your salary is not a personality trait
• The Negotiator — first messages that read like legal contracts
• Wrong App Energy — messages meant for LinkedIn, a therapist, or the police
• Wholesome Fails — they tried so hard and failed so completely
• Nothing Says "Soulmate" Like a Winking Semicolon — flirting with ASCII art, T9 word, and unresolved MySpace trauma :-)
• The Unhinged — the Hall of Fame of inexplicable messages

... Plus a surprise bonus chapter (because the cringe doesn't stop at the messages).

Presented in a unique chat-bubble format — so you can open to any page, laugh, and share it with everyone you know.

Perfect for: Valentine’s Day gifts, bachelorette parties, stocking stuffers, breakup survival kits, bathroom reading, and anyone who’s ever received a terrible opening line and thought “why?!”

All conversations are fictional. Any resemblance to actual messages is purely coincidental — but statistically inevitable.

Swipe right on this book. You won’t regret it. (Unlike most of your other swipes.) Dating
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