I don’t usually work with men.

But every now and then, someone comes to me at a point where nothing else has worked, and Baz was one of those people.

When he reached out, he described it as his last chance saloon.

Baz is 45, a paediatric nurse from Scotland, and identifies as gay and intersex.

When we started working together, he had already spent years in therapy, read the books, tried to understand himself, and still felt completely stuck, exhausted, and out of options.

What he shares in this conversation is not surface-level.

It’s a very real account of growing up in abuse, shame, and silence…
living with addiction, disordered eating, and self-hatred…
and what it’s like to carry that for decades while trying to function on the outside.

We also talk about why years of therapy didn’t change how he felt or how he lived, and what shifted when he stopped just talking about his life and started doing the kind of work that actually asks something of you.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

– What complex developmental trauma can look like across a lifetime
– The patterns we develop when we grow up feeling unsafe, different or unwanted
– Why understanding your past doesn’t always change how you live
– What kept Baz stuck for years, despite trying everything
– And what began to shift when he finally found a way to change how he responded, not just how he understood

This is not a polished success story.

It’s a raw, honest conversation about what it actually takes to change your life when you’ve spent years believing nothing will work for you.

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