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A few weeks ago, a dear friend asked me a question, she asked, "How do I stay in my healthy feminine even when I'm angry or upset, because those feel like such masculine emotions and energy to me ". We hear feminine and immediately we think soft, sweet and unruffled. But that is not what feminine energy is. It is not about staying quiet so others can have their way, it is not about playing small so others feel big. Feminine energy is powerful, and beautiful. It is the other half of masculine energy, these two together are the energy of creation. They are not opposites, they perfectly balance each other. So a woman can absolutely be angry and still feminine, the key is to stay connected to herself and what feels best for her. Anger is a human emotion, not a feminine or masculine emotion. What determines if you show up in wounded or healthy energy is how you relate to and express yourself. Healthy Feminine allows herself to feel, express and stay connected to herself. Wounded feminine suppresses and becomes overwhelmed, and wounded masculine will try to control, attack or over correct. It's important to see the healthy qualities in contrast to the unhealthy. The goal is not to avoid anger, but to stay connected to yourself WHILE feeling angry. A woman in her healthy feminine will be honest but not explosive, expressive but not harsh, and stay connected not reactive. The real question here is, HOW....how do we do that in the midst of anger or being upset. It will take practice, but I promise, this works! I call it my GRACE model. It is a 5 step process to keep yourself connected to your healthy feminine and grounded in who you are. G - grounding. This is HUGE! When we get angry our body is activated but usually not in a good way, so we need to reconnect to our body using our feminine energy. We do this by pausing, taking deep breaths, dropping your shoulders and focusing on where your body is touching the earth (feet if standing, back or legs if sitting). When you reconnect to your body, you can process emotions and stay present much easier and faster. R - recognize and name the real emotion you are feeling. Anger is often covering up your true feeling/emotion. Ask yourself, what am I really feeling? Do you feel sad, hurt, unseen, disrespected, unsafe? Instead of "I'm mad", you might realize you feel something else. Feminine energy is very honest with herself, so this is key, dig deep and find out what you are really feeling so it can be addressed. A - accept the feelings you are feeling. This is a VERY important step, do not dismiss yourself. Your feminine energy needs to be validated and if you skip this step you are dismissing your feelings. It's 100% valid for you to be feeling whatever emotion or feeling you are feeling. You can not heal what you refuse to accept. This might look like you telling yourself something like this "It makes sense that I feel this way", or "of course this upset me". This prevents you from suppressing it (wounded feminine) or exploding (wounded masculine). C - Connect to yourself and God. Ask yourself, "What is God's job, and what is my job" and "God, who do you want me to be on the other side of this". When you ask these questions, pause, and let the answers come. I promise they will. These two questions will help guide you to the resolution that will feel best for YOU! None of this is for the other person, you are not doing any of this to make it easier or better for them! This is 100% internal and for you. Of course by default, it will be better for everyone, but the goal of healing feminine energy is not so that we can fix everything for others. It's so we can heal ourselves and show up with authenticity and as the best version of you. E - Embody the person you chose to be. When you get the feelings from God of who he wants you to be and what steps to take to be that person, DO IT! Show up for yourself, and do the things you need you to do. It might look like being really honest and say something like "I don't feel comfortable with that", or "I need us to handle this differently", or it could just be you walking away and not saying anything. You do not need to attack, or over explain yourself. Stay clear and grounded in what feels best for you. The bottom line is, you don't stay in your feminine by not getting angry or upset, you stay in your feminine by staying connected to yourself while feeling angry. That's it. That's the key. I have used this countless times and each time I walk away with more clarity and more confidence. I hope this helps!

XoXo Adelle