When you’re raised by a narcissistic parent, the harm doesn’t come labelled as abuse.

It comes wrapped in concern, protection, closeness, and sacrifice. “This is for your own good.” “I’m only saying this because I love you.”

Over time, these messages don’t just justify the behaviour — they shape how you understand yourself.

In this episode, I unpack one of the most confusing and painful questions for adult children: How did I not know it was abuse?

The reason you didn’t see it wasn’t because you missed something. It’s because it was never meant to be seen.

Through real-life examples, this episode breaks down the subtle ways narcissistic abuse hides in plain sight — from criticism framed as care, to control framed as protection, to emotional enmeshment disguised as closeness. I also look at why, even in adulthood, so many adults continue to turn the blame inward — and why that response makes sense.

The C.A.L.M Method is starting this Monday 20th April - I can't wait to welcome you in

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

There is such a thing as Healthy Anger — but if you grew up around narcissistic rage, that can feel hard to believe.

In this solo episode, I untangle the belief many adult children of narcissistic parents carry: the learned belief that anger is dangerous, destructive, or something to fear within yourself.

When anger was only ever modelled as explosive outbursts or cold withdrawal, it makes sense that your system learned to shut it down entirely — or to associate it with shame.

I explore the crucial difference between anger, aggression, and rage. My hope is that you’ll begin to see anger — not as something that turns you into “them” — but as a clean, protective signal from your nervous system. A signal that something matters. That something isn’t right. That something is wrong or unfair or unjustified.

Our Healthy Anger signals to us that we deserve care, respect, and boundaries. That we exist. That we matter.

I also look at narcissistic rage — what drives it, why it feels so destabilising, and why it was never actually about you.

This is a steady, clarifying conversation about reclaiming anger as something safe, informative, and deeply self-respecting. Not something to act out — but something you’re allowed to feel.

The C.A.L.M Method is starting this Monday 20th April - I can't wait to welcome you in

Click Here to join or find out more information

BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast

Anyone listening to an abusive parent in action can easily interpret the other parent’s silence as safety. Because they don’t join in, they can appear to be “the good parent” — the one who feels more trustworthy, more stable, more protective.

But silence in these dynamics is rarely neutral.

In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked role of the passive or non-abusive parent — and how their inaction, minimisation, or inability to protect can shape a child’s experience just as deeply. I discuss the confusion this creates, the loyalty binds it reinforces, and the long-term impact it can have on how safety, trust, and relationships are understood in adulthood.

This is a compassionate, nuanced conversation — not about blame, but about seeing clearly what was missing, so you can begin to make sense of your experience with more honesty and self-trust.

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If you're caught in a cycle of reacting, regret, guilt — repeat.

You are not a bad parent.

This is a nervous system problem.

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BEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast