If you've ever thought "is this really as good as it gets?," this episode is your answer. Lisa sits down with Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT, whose no-judgment social media content has been stopping people mid-scroll and mid-spiral for years. Melissa brings the kind of real, digestible wisdom that makes you feel like she was literally sitting in your living room for your last argument. From the pursuer-withdrawer cycle to why healthy couples do fight, to what actually happens when you outgrow each other — this one hits.

In This Episode You'll Hear:

• "Love isn't luck, it's a skill" — what that actually means and why the apps are working against us
• The 3 must-haves / 3 can't-stands exercise — the simplest and most powerful filter for dating clarity
• The pursuer-withdrawer cycle explained — why you always seem to marry your opposite and what to do about it
• Your nervous system is running your relationship — what attachment style has to do with how you fight
• Why repair doesn't happen — and the exact reason couples wait too long to fix what's broken
• The slow emotional drift — why "nothing's really wrong" can still be a completely valid reason to be unhappy
• Outgrowing your partner — is it real, is it fair, and what do you actually do with it?

Key Takeaways & Actionable Insights

1. Get clear before you get out there. Before downloading the app or gussying up for the grocery store, ask yourself: what do I actually want?
2. Try the 3 must-haves / 3 can't-stands exercise. Boil your relationship non-negotiables down to just six things.
3. Know your conflict style. Are you the one who needs to talk about it right now (pursuer) or the one who needs to step away until things cool down (withdrawer)?
4. Regulate before you communicate. When you feel the script starting, your body will tell you first — heart racing, voice rising, shoulders up around your ears. That's your cue.
5. Repair is not optional. Sweeping it under the rug doesn't end the fight — it just adds it to the pile you'll trip over next time. Healthy couples argue and repair. Both parts matter.
6. Wanting more is not selfish. Wanting to feel desired, connected, and seen in your relationship is not a character flaw. It's a human need. Stop apologizing for having it.

Connect with Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT 🌐 Practice: embracingjoy.com (NY, NJ & CT clients) 📚 Courses + Free Downloads: embracingjoyconsulting.com 📸 Instagram: @embracingjoypsychotherapy 🎵 TikTok: @embracingjoynyc ▶️ YouTube: Embracing Joy

Connect with Lisa Mitchell 🌐 Website: lisamitchell.biz 📲 Everywhere: @divorcecurioushelp 💡 Download: Grab the Evaluate Your Marriage Workbook at lisamitchell.biz

Loved this episode? Leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more people find this community when they need it most.

#DivorceСurious #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #NervousSystemRegulation #AttachmentStyles #PursuerWithdrawer #MarriageHelp #EmotionallyFocuse

TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next!

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What if everything you thought a relationship was supposed to look like was just... a story someone else wrote for you? Lisa sits down with the refreshingly honest Melissa McClure — twice-divorced, bisexual, polyamorous, burlesque performer, serial entrepreneur, and San Diego-based truth-teller — for a conversation that will challenge everything you assumed about love, loyalty, jealousy, and how "family" can look different than you might be used to.

Whether you're divorce-curious, newly single, or just quietly wondering if there's more out there for you — this one's for you.

In This Episode You'll Hear:

• The "light bulb moment" that changed everything — how Melissa found her truth and what she did next
• A glossary you didn't know you needed — ENM, polyamory vs. open relationships, kitchen table polyamory, parallel polyamory, metas, and more
• The #1 red flag on dating apps that tells you someone is just cheating (hint: three words)
• Why polyamory doesn't break marriages — it just reveals the cracks that were already there
• Why intentional "relationship check-ins" might be the most underrated tool in any relationship, monogamous or not
• Leveling up in midlife — why women in perimenopause are outgrowing their marriages, and what to do with that

Key Takeaways & Actionable Insights

1. Know your terms before you act. If you're considering opening your relationship, do the research first. Melissa recommends books and podcasts specifically on ethical non-monogamy — going in without education is how you end up with five partners and a struggling business.
2. Jealousy is data, not a verdict. Instead of weaponizing jealousy, try using it as a mirror. Ask yourself: what need is going unmet right now? Then use your words.
3. Run from "don't ask, don't tell." If someone on a dating app claims to be in an open relationship but uses this phrase — that's not ethical non-monogamy. That's cheating with extra steps.
4. Set the rules of engagement — then revisit them. Every relationship, no matter the structure, benefits from intentional check-ins. When did you last ask your partner (or yourself): is this still working?
5. Opening a struggling marriage won't save it. A Hail Mary pass into polyamory typically accelerates the breakdown, not the healing. The relationship foundation has to be solid first.

Connect with Melissa McClure Instagram: @melissamcclure.co 🎵 TikTok: @meldell Melissa shares openly about perimenopause, divorce, polyamory, and life design

Connect with Lisa Mitchell Website: lisamitchell.biz 📲 Everywhere: @divorcecurioushelp 💡 Download The "Evaluate Your Marriage" Workbook: Lisa's self-paced relationship evaluation guide is now live on her website — a great starting point if today's episode gave you things to think about.

Loved this episode? Leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more divorce-curious people find this community.

#DivorceСurious #Polyamory #EthicalNonMonogamy #Perimenopause #Divorce #MidlifeWomen #OpenRelationship #SoloLiving #RelationshipAdvice #LivingYourTruth

TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next!

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Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at lisa@lisamitchell.biz

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In Part 2 of Lisa’s conversation with communication strategist Rachel Randolph, the focus shifts from theory to application.

This episode is all about reclaiming your voice — especially when you feel stuck waiting for someone else to change, apologize, or participate.

Rachel breaks down a powerful mindset shift:

Moving from

To

The conversation explores:

• How to stop outsourcing your peace to someone else’s behavior
• Why self-compassion is the first step in real change
• How small, everyday moments reveal your deeper communication patterns
• The hidden cost of self-abandonment in relationships
• Why owning your voice doesn’t make you “difficult” — it makes you self-led

They also discuss the deeper impact of healing foundational relationship wounds and how that work transforms friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional dynamics.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, silenced, or hesitant to speak up — especially in the context of marriage or relationship decisions — this episode offers a grounded, practical framework to help you take your next right step.

TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next!

Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious

Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at lisa@lisamitchell.biz

Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp