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Finding Purpose in Your Pain

Finding Purpose in Your Pain

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Hello & welcome to the Grief Unplugged podcast. I am your host, Heather D. Horton. Grief Unplugged is a podcast that frees professional women from the blockages of unresolved grief to find purpose in their pain so that they are able to embrace their new "normal" and sustain productivity at work and in life. In the second episode or part two of my story, I detailed how I sought therapeutic support while navigating through the wilderness of grief. But I want to go back and explain what therapeutic support means because therapeutic support is vitally important to help you to continue to move towards a place of gratitude, or even to find purpose in your pain after you have begun to give yourself permission to grieve. You have acknowledged that your all your feelings and emotions are normal and natural, that there is nothing wrong with you. You have begun to accept that you can't change the past and are beginning to take action to live out this new normal but also realizing that this is a cyclical process and you have to prepare yourself for the next thing that is coming. It is how life works. So, therapeutic support, what does that mean? The term therapeutic is an adjective meaning having a beneficial effect on the body and mind or producing a useful or favorable result or effect. Support is defined as the act of helping someone by giving love, encouragement, etc. or something that holds a person or thing up and stops that person or thing from falling. When we seek therapeutic support, we allow others to hold us accountable, and we exercise good self-care – meaning we are aware and recognize the need to make time to care for and nurture our body, our mind, and our spirit. Time spent alone processing your grief will move you forward only so much. You must be intentional about taking action as grief never goes away. But life continues. Your reaction to your triggers and emotions are what change if/when you do the grief work. People tend to label emotions around grief as "negative" hence the grief avoidance society in which we live. Those emotions include but are not limited to, fear, sadness, discouragement, jealousy, blame, revenge, worry, disappointment, frustration, anger, and guilt. However, what makes any of these emotions inherently negative except perhaps the way make us feel physically? May I submit for your consideration that there is no such thing as negative emotions. How would your life be different if you were able to move from just coping with your emotion to leveraging your emotion for growth? A power principle that I gained from my Coach Diversity Institute training states Emotions show us the way. They point us to our next level of growth. What could you learn from your emotions if you fully embraced them and all of your unique life experiences? What would be different for you if you were able to use your emotions as a springboard to reach that place of gratitude after experiencing grief? As a certified grief expert, I help clients process experiences that do not feel so great and help them find meaning and purpose in those events. I help them to understand their anchor and find purpose in their pain. Unresolved pain will continue to rear it's ugly head until you deal with it. It is like waste, it must come out of the body in some form or fashion. Similarly, the pay we experience must come out of the body otherwise it is harming us. If your trauma or grief experience were tailor-made just for you, what would the lesson be? If your trauma or grief situation happened to make you great, what could you learn from it? I believe my trauma experience was tailor-made for me. I survived my accident to make manifest the glory of God that is within me. From childhood, I have always been a deep thinker. I was smart, but I have also presented myself to the world as a closed book. I remember the first time in middle school when I saw the statue of Le Penseur in my French textbook. It portrayed how I saw myself perfectly – head down, hand under chin, sitting slightly bent forward deep in thought. I was never one to share my thoughts openly unless I was forced to share. Either I didn't think my idea was smart enough to capture anyone's attention or I didn't think the receiver was worthy of hearing my breath. However, the day of my accident in 2005 was the beginning of my Awakening, my journey from Heather 1.0 to Heather 2.0. My training with Coach Diversity Institute took the shame I felt about my traumatic experiences and brought my voice to light. Coach Diversity Institute placed the microphone in my hand to help me to begin to share my story with others and make a choice to live an abundant and purposeful life by leveraging my emotions to find my power or reclaim my power. I was reminded that I already knew how to overcome any challenge that crossed my path. It has taken me more than twelve years to get to this point...
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