Gay Men Going Deeper Podcast By Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood cover art

Gay Men Going Deeper

Gay Men Going Deeper

By: Michael DiIorio & Matt Landsiedel | Gay Men’s Brotherhood
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Gay Men Going Deeper is a podcast about gay relationships, identity, sexuality, and personal growth for gay men navigating modern life. Hosted by Matt Landsiedel and Michael DiIorio, the show dives into topics like dating, shame, masculinity, confidence, emotional intimacy, and the pressures of modern gay culture. Expect raw conversations, psychological insight, and the kind of honest discussions that challenge assumptions and invite deeper reflection about what it means to live authentically as a gay man.© 2020 Gay Men's Brotherhood Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Masc for Masc: Preference or Internalized Homophobia?

    Masc for Masc: Preference or Internalized Homophobia?
    Mar 26 2026
    When a gay man says he’s attracted to masculine men, is that simply preference… or could internalized homophobia be part of the story? In this episode, we unpack one of the most volatile conversations in the gay community. We explore what people actually mean when they say “masculine,” the masc and fem archetypes that shape gay culture, and how social conditioning around masculinity and femininity can influence attraction and identity. Most importantly, we tackle the question at the center of the debate: where is the line between genuine preference and internalized bias? In this episode we discuss: What people really mean when they say “masculine”Masculine and feminine archetypes How conditioning around masculinity shapes attractionWhat internalized homophobia can look like in everyday lifeThe difference between preference and hierarchyWhere the line may exist between preference and prejudice Join us for a nuanced conversation about masculinity, attraction, and the cultural forces that shape how gay men see themselves and each other. Today's Hosts: Matt LandsiedelMichael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay MenReno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTubeJoin the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook communityGet on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your... Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep(00:01:00) - Gay Men's Issues With Masculinity(00:03:16) - What is Internalized Homophobia?(00:05:26) - Are You Attracted To Masculine Men?(00:10:26) - Tom Brokaw on Masculinity(00:11:40) - Masculinity and the Gay Community(00:14:31) - On Masculinity and Sexuality(00:17:39) - Gayman's Brotherhood Connection Circles(00:18:29) - Internalized Homophobia(00:23:06) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Femininity and Gay Life(00:29:44) - Queens Talk About Their Gay Culture(00:32:15) - Outing My Own Phobia(00:36:08) - Gay Men Go Deep Coaching(00:36:50) - Where Is the Line Between Real Sexual Desire and Internalized Homophobia(00:39:58) - I Used To Be Attracted To Performative Masculinity(00:45:24) - Reno On Gay Men's Sexualities(00:49:08) - Blind Dating on Grindr(00:50:14) - A Very Long Goodbye
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    51 mins
  • Flakey Gays: Why is Follow-Through So Hard?

    Flakey Gays: Why is Follow-Through So Hard?
    Mar 19 2026

    The guy who constantly cancels plans, keeps things vague, or disappears when something better comes along — that’s flakiness: a pattern of not following through.

    In a culture of endless options and shifting feelings, has unreliability quietly become normal? And what does that actually say about us?

    In this off-the-cuff episode, we talk about:

    • What flakiness actually is — and what it isn’t
    • The difference between boundaries and excuses
    • Common avoidance patterns in dating and friendships
    • Why keeping your word is about more than just social plans
    • What it really means to be a reliable man

    This isn’t just about the inconvenience of canceled plans. It’s about self-trust, stronger relationships, and the kind of man you’re practicing becoming.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Matt Landsiedel
    • Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
    Chapters
    • (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: FlAKY Gays
    • (00:03:24) - Gay Men Talk About Flakiness
    • (00:07:37) - How to run a group
    • (00:08:45) - Flaky Gay Men vs Avoidant Gay Men
    • (00:13:03) - Being Candid With People
    • (00:16:34) - Gay Men Talk About When They Don't Want To Connect With Me
    • (00:20:13) - How to Get More Out of Your Friendships
    • (00:21:10) - Lack of Follow Through
    • (00:25:50) - Matt On His Love Life
    • (00:29:04) - In the Elevator With Flakiness
    • (00:30:25) - Gaming Going Deep
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    31 mins
  • Is Being Gay Your Entire Identity? (The Hidden Cost of Over-Identification)

    Is Being Gay Your Entire Identity? (The Hidden Cost of Over-Identification)
    Mar 12 2026

    What does it actually mean to identify as gay?

    For many of us, claiming the word “gay” was liberating. It gave us language, belonging, community, and pride. It helped us make sense of our experiences and find people who understood us. But is there a point where identification turns into over-identification?

    In this episode, we unpack some big questions:

    • What is identity, really?
    • In what ways is identifying as gay empowering?
    • How does it foster belonging and inclusion?
    • When does it start to create division, hierarchy, or limitation?
    • Is “gay” a culture — and if so, what does that even mean?
    • Where’s the line between healthy pride and rigid attachment?

    We explore the benefits and the drawbacks of tying ourselves closely to any identity — and how over-identifying can sometimes shrink us rather than expand us.

    This conversation isn’t about minimizing being gay. It’s about integrating it. About moving from performance to embodiment. From label to lived experience.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Matt Landsiedel
    • Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men

    Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

    - CONNECT WITH US -

    • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
    • Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
    • Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
    • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
    • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

    - LEARN WITH US -

    • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
    • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
    • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
    • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
    Chapters
    • (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: Over Identifying With Being Gay
    • (00:00:50) - Being gay in the quest for enlightenment
    • (00:03:29) - Michael Buble On Over Identifying With Being Gay
    • (00:08:55) - On Loss of Identity
    • (00:13:26) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: The Gay Community
    • (00:18:03) - Coming Out Has Helped People
    • (00:21:17) - How Over Identifying Can Be a Hindrance
    • (00:23:05) - Is Pride Helpful or a hindrance for Gay Men?
    Show more Show less
    25 mins
All stars
Most relevant
Love the complementary perspectives, the earnestness and honesty with which the hosts share, and the emphasis on healing trauma and addressing root causes.

Helpful, down-to-earth, authentic

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I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It really spoke to me. Possibly my favorite episode. Awesome!

Great episode! It meant alot to me in a big way.

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