God Showed Up and Showed Out… But I Still Want Control
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God Showed Up and Showed Out… But I Still Want Control
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I’m still in 1 Samuel 2:36… and now I understand why.
God showed up and showed out in my life. At the very last moment, God provided a place for me to live and a stream of income when I had almost nothing.
And somehow… I still want control.
That’s what made me realize—this verse isn’t just about things being taken away. It’s about the parts of me that used to run my life still trying to come back.
For me, that’s control.
Control made me feel safe. It helped me survive. But it also kept me stuck.
Now I’m in a place where I can’t control everything—living with roommates, not having things done my way, not knowing what’s coming next.
And I’m seeing just how deep this goes.
Fear still shows up. The “what ifs” still show up. That need to manage everything still shows up.
But it’s not in charge anymore.
I’m learning what it looks like to actually trust God—not just when I have nothing, but even after God provides.
If you've ever felt like you need control just to feel okay, you are not alone in that.