A birth certificate can name parents, but it can’t explain belonging. We sit down with two people who are “adopted” in very different ways and pull on the thread everyone avoids: what do you do with the hole that biology, paperwork, and silence can leave behind? One of us grew up in a closed adoption with a nagging question that never quit: why would a birth mother keep two sons yet give up a newborn? The other grew up inside a home where addiction, neglect, and performative “fatherhood” made the word parent feel like a label instead of a promise.

We talk transracial adoption and identity, including what it’s like to be a Black kid raised by white parents in Utah, how racism shows up early, and why even great adoptive parents can’t always feel what their child feels. We also get honest about the coping strategies that follow: chasing fame, stacking trophies, living with constant self-judgment, and turning mentorship into a way to rebuild what you didn’t get. Along the way we explore the idea that two things can be true at once: gratitude can coexist with grief, and love can coexist with unanswered questions.

Find Stair Pits here:
www.unbreakableorigins.com

[00:00:00] Two Blindnesses And What Parents Mean
[00:04:19] Divorce, Alcohol, And A Life Saved
[00:09:13] Closed Adoption And The Need For Answers
[00:12:55] Transracial Upbringing And Belonging
[00:20:15] When Parenting Is Title Only
[00:31:50] Mentorship, Motives, And Inner Healing
[00:33:26] Chasing Fame To Prove Worth
[00:40:42] Learning The World Through Odd Skills
[00:47:24] The Moment Anger Could Have Killed
[00:57:29] Cain And Abel Then Forgiveness