Incorporate New Traditions Into Old Traditions Podcast By cover art

Incorporate New Traditions Into Old Traditions

Incorporate New Traditions Into Old Traditions

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Hello & welcome to the Grief Unplugged podcast. I am your host, Heather D. Horton. Grief Unplugged is a podcast that frees professional women from the blockages of unresolved grief so they can find purpose in their pain and embrace their new "normal" while sustaining productivity at work and in life. In episodes 1 & 2, I told my story about the event that changed the trajectory of my life and gave specific details of how I have navigated my 13-year grief journey. In episodes 3 through 6, I provided you with a vast toolkit of resources to begin shifting you from grief to a place of gratitude when you are ready. Episode 3 explored giving yourself permission to grieve as one of the most fundamental ways to begin moving forward instead of remaining stuck in your grief. In episode 4, I showed how you could stand firm in your faith and face your fears because there is nothing wrong with you. You are not inadequate as Marianne Williamson, Our Deepest Fear, describes in her poem but you are greater than you could ever imagine because of where you are right now and what you have gone through. I also talked about what therapeutic support means and how you have to be intentional about it to support you on this journey. In episode 5, I showed you how to leverage your emotions, invite them to tea or your favorite non-alcoholic beverage and then escort them out the door and take back your power. In episode 6, I showed you how to start to transition from focusing on the death/loss you experienced to remembering and honoring the life of the person you loved or the thing or situation that no longer exists. Today I will show you the importance of Incorporating new traditions into old traditions as you navigate your grief journey. It is an opportunity for you to create renewed attitudes, behaviors and perspectives resulting in transformational awareness and actions. At this point, we have come to realize that we can't change the past. Noted author Corinne Edwards says it best; we have to give up the hope for a different or better yesterday. Stop hoping things would have happened differently or that things could be like they were in the past. Create new traditions to remember your loved one or that loss. The only point of power you have is right now. You can still include something old in the new tradition. Brides are even able to include something old on their wedding day. Maybe just tweak the old way by including something that puts your signature on the occasion. You may be hesitant about changing an old tradition. You may be concerned that you are moving on from the person or situation or letting go of that memory. Without beating yourself up, I want you to allow space for you to open your heart to consider other possibilities. One of the new traditions I created after losing my mother was how I celebrated the holidays. From childhood to adulthood, my extended family all lived within a 5-10 mile radius of each other. We did everything together, sporting events, church, family dinners on Sunday, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. You name it; we were together. After my mother passed, I didn't want to see or be around anyone related to me. Not that I blamed anyone for what happened, but as an introvert, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a long time. But I had little say over that because I wore a C-collar to mend my neck fracture for three months after the accident. Someone had to drive me everywhere, or I was always with someone which is hard after living alone. The moment that I was able to drive again and eventually move from Louisiana to Arizona, I began to create my traditions. I decided for my sanity that I would spend one holiday by myself each year. No family. No friends. No one but me and whatever I decided to cook. My mother loved to cook, and I was very fond of her cooking. I had managed to learn how to make a few dishes just like she did. I would set the table for myself and enjoy the dish by myself in peace and quiet and focus on memorable times with my mother. My extended family and even the families that adopted me while I lived in AZ thought it was a bit extreme, but I had to create boundaries for my sanity. As the years passed after my mother's death, I begin to tweak the traditions again and starting coming home for the holidays more after my nephews were born. I had to make a new tradition to get back to the place of gratitude for appreciating being with my extended family during the holidays. If you need a little inspiration to get to the place where you can think of something new, I encourage you to try this exercise. It's called the 50 Smiles Project. Take just two minutes to write down everything that makes you smile. You can this once a week or daily. One of your ideas may help you to create that new tradition. One of the biggest roadblocks you will encounter when trying to incorporate new traditions ...
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