Love How Deep Marriage Podcast By Brian Mayer & Heather Mayer cover art

Love How Deep Marriage

Love How Deep Marriage

By: Brian Mayer & Heather Mayer
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Love How Deep is a podcast designed to equip married couples like you with resources that rely on the transformative power of God's Word to strengthen your relationship. The hosts, Brian & Heather Mayer desire is to connect couples more deeply to each other. They do this by offering episode content that can help couples communicate better, resolve conflict, understand each other more, tackle roles and responsbilities, parent in better ways, control their finances more, and increase emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual parts of their lives. Engaging guests from married couples, pastors, therapists, authors, and other experts in the field offer great advice.2024 Christianity Ministry & Evangelism Relationships Social Sciences Spirituality
Episodes
  • 125: Navigating Abuse, Divorce, and Spiritual Healing Part 1

    125: Navigating Abuse, Divorce, and Spiritual Healing Part 1
    Apr 8 2026
    Part 1: The Hidden Crisis: When "I Do" Becomes a Lie

    What do you do when the person who promised to love you forever suddenly becomes a stranger? Heather opens the vault on her early years, revealing the painful transition from a hopeful 21-year-old bride to a woman living a double life. This isn't just a story about a breakup; it's a masterclass in recognizing the "silent" red flags of a destructive marriage.

    Summary: In this premiere episode, Heather shares the raw beginning of a journey she never asked for. Growing up as the "good girl" and the "black sheep" of a family that didn't do divorce, Heather found herself in a marriage defined by confusion and sudden abandonment. From the shock of a husband moving out without warning in Texas to the "mask-wearing" years in Florida, Heather explores the psychological toll of spiritual and emotional isolation.

    We dive deep into the "Performance Trap"—the exhausting effort of leading worship and singing about God's mercy on Sunday while feeling utterly abandoned by Him on Monday. If you have ever felt like you had to choose between your reputation and your reality, this episode is your permission to take off the mask.

    Key Takeaways:

    • The Anatomy of Abandonment: Understanding the shock of "sudden" departure.

    • The Church Mask: Why we feel the need to look "perfect" when our world is falling apart.

    • The Black Sheep Syndrome: Navigating the shame of being the first in your circles to face marital failure.

    Featured Resources:

    • Connect with Love How Deep: www.lovehowdeep.com
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    10 mins
  • 124: What Every Husband Gets Wrong About Marriage

    124: What Every Husband Gets Wrong About Marriage
    Mar 25 2026
    Episode Title: What Every Husband Gets Wrong About Marriage Podcast: Love How Deep Hosts: Brian & Heather Episode Summary: Fellas, are you feeling the pressure of being the spiritual head of your house? In this episode, Brian puts the men on the hot seat—but with a lot of grace. He breaks down the common pitfalls of husbandhood, from the tendency to retreat into an "isolated cave" to the misunderstanding of what it means to lead. Using personal stories about career transitions and "parental" triggers, Brian and Heather explore how a husband's leadership hinges on humility, provision, and active participation in the family. Key Highlights & Discussion Points 1. The "Father Factor" (Spiritual Leadership) The Powerful Statistic: Brian and Heather discuss research indicating that if a father attends church regularly, 2/3 to 3/4 of children will remain regular churchgoers, regardless of the mother's attendance. Leading by Example: A father isn't just a "sender" of his family to church; he is the navigator. When the husband doesn't show up, the kids often see faith as optional. 2. Agape Love: Love as a Verb Unconditional Love: Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love as Christ loved the church. This isn't a feeling; it's a choice. The "What Can I Chop?" Moment: Heather shares how Brian shows love by simply walking into the kitchen and asking how he can help with dinner, breaking the "women's work vs. men's work" stereotype. 3. Communicating with Wisdom The Choice in Conflict: Brian discusses the split-second decision when a "button" is pushed: Do you blow up in anger, or do you choose a gentle answer (Proverbs 15:1)? Historical vs. Hysterical: Referencing researcher John Gottman, Brian explains that if a reaction is "hysterical," there is likely a "historical" root. Open communication about past triggers can prevent future blow-ups. 4. Providing vs. Calamity (Burdens vs. Loads) The Career Pivot: Brian shares a vulnerable story about leaving his corporate job to become a counselor, which eliminated 2/3 of the family income for three years. Distinguishing the Two: * Burdens: Unexpected trials (sickness, layoffs, AI displacement) where you need help. Loads: A pattern of idleness or refusing to take responsibility. Encouragement for the Struggling: Heather reminds husbands that if you are working hard toward a goal or a calling, you are still a provider, even if the bank account doesn't reflect it yet. 5. The "Mother" Trigger The Fork in the Road: Brian admits that when Heather gives him advice, he sometimes views her as a "mothering" figure rather than a partner. Changing the Lens: He encourages men to see their wife's input as an act of love and care rather than a loss of autonomy. Quotes to Remember "If you're hysterical, it's probably historical. There's something built up there that needs to be talked about." — Brian "Venting landing on your spouse is like a big pile of... well, you know... landing on the person you love." — Brian "Don't be the husband who just sends his family to church. Be the one who leads them there." — Heather Scripture References Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Ephesians 5:21-24: Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Proverbs 15:1: A gentle answer turns away wrath. 1 Timothy 5:8: Providing for your own household. Colossians 3:13-14: Bear with each other and forgive. Reflect & Apply The Cave Check: Are you retreating into hobbies (video games, the garage, work) to avoid the responsibility of being present with your family? The Spiritual Lead: If you've been letting your wife handle the spiritual growth of the kids, what is one small step you can take this Sunday to lead? The Kitchen Test: Next time you see your spouse working on a task, don't ask "Do you need help?" (which implies it's her job). Instead, pick up a tool and say, "I'm here, what can I do?" Connect with Us Website: LoveHowDeep.com Newsletter: Sign up for Heather's monthly update for marriage tips and free resources!
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    20 mins
  • 123: Am I Measuring Up as a Wife? The Proverbs 31 Standard

    123: Am I Measuring Up as a Wife? The Proverbs 31 Standard
    Mar 18 2026
    Episode Title: Am I Measuring Up as a Wife? The Proverbs 31 Standard

    Podcast: Love How Deep

    Hosts: Heather & Brian

    Episode Summary: Does the Proverbs 31 woman make you feel "about an inch tall"? You aren't alone. In this episode, Heather and Brian dive into the famous (and often exhausting) biblical standard for wives. Heather shares how modern women are juggling a "12-lane highway" of responsibilities and offers a permission slip to stop trying to do it all. Learn why "less is more," how to recognize when a season is over, and why the joy of the Lord is your ultimate battery pack for daily life.

    Key Highlights & Discussion Points 1. The Exhaustion of "Superwoman"

    • The List: Heather reads through Proverbs 31:10–31. We see a woman who weaves, plants vineyards, trades profitably, feeds everyone, and never seems to sleep.

    • The Modern Translation: Today's "Proverbs 31" woman is chauffeuring kids, working a 9-to-5, leading ministries, maintaining a social life, and trying to keep dinner on the table.

    • The Result: Anxiety, health issues, and a "cycle of shame" when we can't keep all the balls in the air.

    2. The Season of "No"

    • Ecclesiastes 3:1: There is a season for every activity. Heather explains that just because something is good doesn't mean it's for now.

    • Heather's Personal Transition: Heather shares a vulnerable story about the Holy Spirit telling her to step down from the worship team—something she loved for years.

    • Pruning for Growth: Stepping down wasn't a loss of purpose; it was "clearing the way" so she had the capacity to lead a women's Bible study, which has become her new passion.

    3. Joy as Helium

    • The Balloon Metaphor: Brian compares the joy of the Lord to helium. Regular air keeps the balloon on the floor, but helium (joy) carries you to heights you couldn't reach on your own.

    • Nehemiah 8:10: "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Joy isn't just a feeling; it's the emotional strength required to face a busy day.

    • The Atmosphere of the Home: Your family can sense your "short-tempered nature" when you're overwhelmed. Taking stock of your joy isn't just for you—it's for the health of your marriage and kids.

    4. Wisdom of the Tongue

    • Kindness over Correctness: Brian points out that while your critiques might be true, they must be delivered with kindness.

    • The Power of Encouragement: When we clear the mental space by letting go of unnecessary tasks, we have more room to be a voice of encouragement for our spouses and coworkers.

    Quotes to Remember

    "Ladies, we're not called to do it all. Evaluate why you do the things you do... is it a season to step away?" — Heather

    "Women have a 12-lane highway going on and they're trying to be in all the lanes at once... it leads to a cycle of shame and guilt." — Brian

    "I thought God just ripped my arm off... but He needed to prune something away so new growth could happen." — Heather (on stepping down from worship)

    Scripture References

    • Proverbs 31:10–31: The Wife of Noble Character.

    • Ecclesiastes 3:1: A season for everything.

    • Philippians 4:4: Rejoice in the Lord always.

    • Nehemiah 8:10: The joy of the Lord is your strength.

    • 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks.

    Reflect & Apply

    1. The To-Do Audit: Make a list of everything you are currently "juggling." Circle the things you do out of obligation or pride rather than calling.

    2. The Capacity Check: Do you have the mental "margin" to be kind to your family? If not, what can be removed this week?

    3. The Power of No: Practice saying "No, this isn't the time for that" without giving a long dissertation of excuses.

    Connect with Us

    • Resources & More: Visit LoveHowDeep.com

    • Bible Study: Join the conversation on the names of God and finding your Jehovah Tsidkenu.
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    25 mins
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