In this episode, I explain the concept of the anger iceberg and how it completely changes the way we understand our children's behavior. What we see on the surface—yelling, hitting, defiance, aggression—is often just a small piece of what's actually going on. Underneath that anger is something much bigger: hurt, disappointment, fear, frustration, or overwhelm. Kids don't choose anger because it's accurate—they choose it because it feels powerful and helps them avoid vulnerability.

When we only react to the anger, we miss what our child is really trying to communicate. But when we pause and look beneath the surface, we can respond to the true emotion instead of the behavior. This shift helps our children feel seen and understood, which is what actually reduces the outbursts over time. My goal in this episode is to help you see past the behavior so you can connect with what your child is really experiencing—and respond in a way that helps, not escalates.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I walk you through how birth order shapes your child's personality—and why that matters more than most parents realize. I explain the common tendencies of oldest, middle, and youngest children, and how the dynamics between siblings influence behavior, motivation, and relationships. When you understand birth order, so many things start to make sense—why one child is driven and responsible, another is social and carefree, and another seeks connection outside the family.

I also talk about something many parents don't consider: your own birth order affects how you parent. We naturally relate more easily to the child who shares our role, and we can unintentionally bring unresolved feelings from our own childhood into how we respond to our kids. My goal is to help you see that these patterns are not problems to fix, but insights that can help you understand your children more clearly and respond to them with more awareness and connection.

Episode Reference:
Richardson, R. W., & Richardson, L. A. (2000). Birth order and you (2nd ed.). Self-Counsel Press.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important mindset shifts we can make as parents: behavior is communication. When children don't yet have an emotional vocabulary, they can't tell us what they're feeling—they have to show us. That's why big emotions often come out as tantrums, aggression, or seemingly irrational behavior. What looks like "misbehavior" is often just a child overwhelmed by feelings they don't understand and don't know how to express.

I walk through how emotional vocabulary changes everything. When children learn to recognize and verbalize what they're feeling, they no longer need to act it out. Instead of melting down, they can say, "I'm mad," or "That's not fair." And while those words may not always sound pleasant, they are a huge step forward. The more we reflect our child's feelings and help them build emotional vocabulary, the more they develop self-control, regulation, and the ability to communicate their needs in healthier ways.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.