Spring invites us to clean out what’s stale in our marriage and start fresh without changing partners. I share a simple three-step relationship reset that replaces blame with honesty, turns complaints into clear requests, and builds momentum through one small win.

• spring cleaning mindset for marriage and relationships
• why most couples are stuck rather than in crisis
• step one naming disconnection honestly without blame
• how criticism creates defensiveness and shuts down repair
• finding the desire underneath a complaint
• step two making requests stupidly specific and actionable
• examples of clear asks for time, help and date nights
• step three choosing one small repeatable win
• why consistency creates momentum and rebuilds trust
• prompts to ask yourself and how to go first

If this episode resonated with you, send it to your partner. Or better yet, suggest that you listen together. And if you decide to try the reset together, I want to hear about it. Shoot me a note on social media or send me an email and let me know what is the one small thing you're gonna do this week to initiate the change.

Don't forget to download the Get Lucky Guide at https://monicatanner.com/getlucky

Send us Fan Mail

In this interview with Katie Runyan of Faithful Fling, we explore how faithful love gets hotter when you add playful novelty. Katie shows how role play dates can break roommate syndrome, wake up the erotic mind, and turn ordinary nights into lasting memories.

• safety and novelty as twin needs for desire
• Katie’s origin story and the first costume
• awkwardness as fuel for laughter and bonding
• tapping the erotic mind with small cues
• how to invite your partner to try it
• preventing unmet expectations with separate guides
• pursuer role swaps and first‑date butterflies
• simple follow‑ups that create inside jokes
• fringe dates for couples who prefer “themselves”
• building a cadence for pattern interrupts

Visit www.faithfulfling.com and get your first role play date is FREE for 21 days. If you don’t love it, cancel before day 21 and you won’t be charged.

Send us Fan Mail

In this interview with Jessa Zimmerman, we reframe desire discrepancy as normal, not a defect, and show how couples can move from pressure to play with clear tools, language, and empathy. She explains proactive vs reactive desire, why “no” should be celebrated, and how to build a buffet of intimate options.

• normalising libido differences across long-term relationships
• shifting control dynamics away from pressure and blame
• identifying health, stress, and relational obstacles to desire
• understanding proactive and reactive desire patterns
• starting with higher desire partner’s mindset and behaviours
• redefining sex as shared pleasure over goal-driven outcomes
• using the playground metaphor and “maybe” starts
• broadening options between all and nothing
• handling disappointment without punishment or withdrawal
• practicing self-validation to reduce validation seeking
• creating a safe container for exploration and communication
• restoring hope through shared responsibility and small wins

You can go to www.intimacywithease.com for free resources, guides for higher and lower desire partners, and details on courses and therapy availability

Send us Fan Mail

In this week's episode, I'm talking about how to keep sex and connection from turning into a pressure-filled project by bringing back laughter, flirting, and lightness. I share why playfulness builds emotional safety and give three simple ways to create more “luck” in your love life.

• how seriousness turns intimacy into pressure
• why laughter signals safety and reconnects couples
• shifting from obligation to anticipation with small playful moments
• the lap dance story and why imperfection can spark desire
• three practical tools: flirt more, revive inside jokes, do something silly together

You can download the Get Lucky Guide by going to https://monicatanner.com/getlucky.

Send a text

This week I explore why desire differences are normal, how pressure shuts things down, and how pursuit and emotional safety rebuild connection. I share the Yes And method, practical scripts, and a simple weekly check-in to help couples design intimacy that works for both of them.

• naming the rejection–pressure cycle
• spontaneous desire vs responsive desire
• why pressure kills desire and pursuit builds it
• safety, choice, and autonomy as turn-ons
• the Yes And method for intimacy talks
• sample pursuit phrases and script swaps
• a 20-minute weekly intimacy check-in
• using green-light lists to set context

Download the Get Lucky Guide at https://monicatanner.com/getlucky

Send us Fan Mail

I'm kicking off a March series on “getting lucky” by showing why great intimacy isn’t luck at all. Real emotional safety and compassionate curiosity create the right context for desire to grow, and I'm giving you my Green Light Conversation tool to help you start.

• debunking the myth of effortless, spontaneous intimacy
• how stress, resentment, and distraction cool desire
• why desire needs safety and play to thrive
• what blocks safety: criticism, pressure, feeling unseen
• the rejection–pressure spiral between partners
• shifting from obligation to compassionate curiosity
• green light questions that build anticipation
• listening without fixing or defending
• emotional safety as real foreplay
• practical ways to reduce pressure and increase appreciation
• preview of desire discrepancy and upcoming interview

Go to https://monicatanner.com/getlucky to download the Get Lucky Guide

Send us Fan Mail

Today I welcome Dr Gary Chapman to explore why love languages still matter and how dialects and personality shape whether love actually lands. We share a simple love tank ritual, a practical daily connection plan, and ways to listen without fixing so both partners feel seen.

• why dialects within the five love languages change impact
• the attitude of love versus manipulation
• the 0–10 love tank question and follow‑up
• listening as posture, not problem‑solving
• tailoring love to introvert and extrovert needs
• the 20‑minute daily check‑in, weekly dates, annual getaway
• seasons of marriage and updating dialects over time
• stories showing sincerity missing without fluency
• practicing a language you never received growing up

Go to www.5lovelanguages.com to take the free quiz or the premium assessment and to purchase Love Languages That Matter Most

Send us Fan Mail

This week, I'm sharing how compassionate curiosity turns conflict into connection and why understanding your partner does not require you to agree. Practical scripts, clear definitions, and real examples show how to stay on the same team while holding different views.

• use post‑Valentine’s expectations and disappointment as a chance to communicate
• compassionate curiosity as the path to intimate friendship and passionate partnership
• difference between understanding and agreement
• story of taking a friend’s side and how stance changes feedback
• faith shift case study and fear of being “tainted” by new views
• ping pong versus softball dialogue and why pacing matters
• both‑and language with sample phrases and questions
• applying the tools to money, parenting, sex, and tech boundaries
• building safety, respect and teamwork without forced consensus

Make sure that if this episode was helpful, you share it with a friend or leave a review.

Send us Fan Mail