On this episode, I continue my conversation about love and the spiritual refugees - the 45 million people in this nation who have stepped away from the church but have not stepped away from spirituality. After pastoring for decades, I retired not to escape the work, but to go back and find out what went wrong and to listen. I believe this is a grand time for the church in America to recover what has been lost, and that begins with love and with paying attention.

As I look back over my own life and ministry, I’m willing to own my part. I regret that I spoke too often in the language of church instead of the language of the world around me. Because of love, we cannot assume people should understand us. Because of love, we must do the heavy lifting of communicating in ways people can actually hear and receive.

Many people are still deeply spiritual, but they have walked away from what I call “church incorporated.” They grew wise to manipulation, shame, pressure, and systems that no longer helped them live with freedom and dignity. My calling now is not to tell them to come back, but to listen—to learn from them and to help recover what has been lost with kindness, honesty, and compassion.

The biggest mistake we make is thinking we still have time. Be present. Be kind. Love more. Love now. Speak the language of the people you meet, regulate your heart even when you disagree, and find a way to look people in the eye and say the three most holy words in the human language: I love you.