If you're writing a memoir, you've probably realized: covering 20, 30, even 40 years of your life in one book feels impossible.

Where do you start? Where do you end? How do you fit everything in without writing a 500-page autobiography that no one asked for?

Here's what I want you to know: a memoir isn't what happened to you. It's how you changed because of what happened to you. A memoir is a story, which means it's about a shift in perspective—not a play-by-play of your entire life. Once you identify that shift, structuring your memoir becomes so much clearer.

In this episode, I'm sharing a new 3-step pyramid method I developed for finding your memoir's time container.

This method helps you narrow decades of material into a focused narrative while still including all the backstory and context you want through flashbacks.

I break down the difference between memoir and autobiography, how to identify the actual story you're telling, and how to find your beginning, middle, and end using three simple questions. If you're a memoirist feeling overwhelmed by how much you need to cover, this framework will help.

Love the show? Share it with a fellow writer or leave a review! For more resources, visit thebookincubator.com.

Let's connect! Come say hi on Instagram: @book.incubator

Happy writing! — Mary

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RESOURCES:

+ Learn my Four Notebooks Method & get your free template: http://bit.ly/3wGmMTc

+ A Novel in 52 Prompts - A scene-by-scene blueprint for writing your novel: https://www.thebookincubator.com/novel-in-52-prompts

+ Ready to write your dream book? Apply for The Book Incubator in just 5 minutes with no obligation to enroll and get my free 60-minute training HOW TO WRITE YOUR DREAM BOOK WITH A FULL-TIME JOB (AND A LIFE): https://bit.ly/3wEwrJQ

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Hi, I'm Mary!

I'm the author of the novels When You Read This (Indie Next Pick and “Best Book of 2019” by Good Housekeeping), Privilege (Today.com “Best Summer Read”), and Palm Beach (New York Post “Best Book of 2021” and “like a sandy beach, equal parts beautiful and uncomfortable” according to the Associated Press). My memoir, You Might Feel A Little Pressure, was released by Third Rail Press in 2025.

My books have been published in 13 countries, and I've written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Slate, and more. I founded an MFA-alternative, The Book Incubator, which has now helped hundreds of writers finish their books over 12 months and continues supporting them through publication (yes, forever!).

When I’m not writing, I’m probably building a fort with my 7-year-old son Finn or bathing with an overpriced Lush bath bomb. I live in Dallas, where I spend my free time trying to domesticate a stubborn tabby and shamelessly watching reality TV.

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Social:

+ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/book.incubator

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#writingtips #bookwriting #writer #authortube

Don't solve a minor problem by making your draft "mid."

This comes up when writers are quick to assume something "isn't working" because an early reader expressed confusion or skepticism (which is often confusion by another name).

Here's the thing: before a bold and original idea is seen as bold and original, it's often just seen as confusing. Why? Because we haven't seen something quite like it before. Our brains can't categorize it into a familiar template. And because it's a first or early draft, it might just not be fully formed yet.

So when a reader says they're confused by the weird thing you decided to try, what's the logical response? You might cut it. Pull back. Go back to following the template of what's been done before.

This is the wrong turn. Because yes, we don't want readers confused—but we also don't want to remove the most bold and original elements from our book. That's what's going to sell it.

In this episode, I'm breaking down how to navigate this quicksand: how to clear up confusion WITHOUT ditching your bold choices. Plus, how this applies to querying agents and why, in the age of AI, your human distinctive weirdness is more critical than ever.

Love the show? Share it with a fellow writer or leave a review! For more resources, visit thebookincubator.com.

Let's connect! Come say hi on Instagram: @book.incubator

Happy writing! — Mary

========================

RESOURCES:

+ Learn my Four Notebooks Method & get your free template: http://bit.ly/3wGmMTc

+ A Novel in 52 Prompts - A scene-by-scene blueprint for writing your novel: https://www.thebookincubator.com/novel-in-52-prompts

+ Ready to write your dream book? Apply for The Book Incubator in just 5 minutes with no obligation to enroll and get my free 60-minute training HOW TO WRITE YOUR DREAM BOOK WITH A FULL-TIME JOB (AND A LIFE): https://bit.ly/3wEwrJQ

========================

Hi, I'm Mary!

I'm the author of the novels When You Read This (Indie Next Pick and “Best Book of 2019” by Good Housekeeping), Privilege (Today.com “Best Summer Read”), and Palm Beach (New York Post “Best Book of 2021” and “like a sandy beach, equal parts beautiful and uncomfortable” according to the Associated Press). My memoir, You Might Feel A Little Pressure, was released by Third Rail Press in 2025.

My books have been published in 13 countries, and I've written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Slate, and more. I founded an MFA-alternative, The Book Incubator, which has now helped hundreds of writers finish their books over 12 months and continues supporting them through publication (yes, forever!).

When I’m not writing, I’m probably building a fort with my 7-year-old son Finn or bathing with an overpriced Lush bath bomb. I live in Dallas, where I spend my free time trying to domesticate a stubborn tabby and shamelessly watching reality TV.

========================

Social:

+ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/book.incubator

========================

#writingtips #bookwriting #writer #authortube

This week's episode is a little different. Less practical craft advice, more mindset. Because something's been on my mind lately: earnestness.

A few weeks ago, my friend sent me a meme where women were sharing the most basic things they love—the "least bougie" everyday things they'd be judged for. Things like drip coffee, McDonald's fries, cheap bath towels, spiral notebooks. And when she asked me what mine were, the first thing that came to mind was "earnestness."

Which got me thinking: why do we train ourselves out of it? Why do we think earnestness is dorky? And what does this have to do with writing?

Turns out, everything. Because when we sit down to write something creative, it's an incredibly earnest act. It's vulnerable. And I think it's brave.

In this episode, I'm making the case that writing creatively is an act of bravery, and that bravery—like any hard thing—takes practice.

Love the show? Share it with a fellow writer or leave a review! For more resources, visit thebookincubator.com.

Let's connect! Come say hi on Instagram: @book.incubator

Happy writing! — Mary

========================

RESOURCES:

+ Learn my Four Notebooks Method & get your free template: http://bit.ly/3wGmMTc

+ A Novel in 52 Prompts - A scene-by-scene blueprint for writing your novel: https://www.thebookincubator.com/novel-in-52-prompts

+ Ready to write your dream book? Apply for The Book Incubator in just 5 minutes with no obligation to enroll and get my free 60-minute training HOW TO WRITE YOUR DREAM BOOK WITH A FULL-TIME JOB (AND A LIFE): https://bit.ly/3wEwrJQ

========================

Hi, I'm Mary!

I'm the author of the novels When You Read This (Indie Next Pick and “Best Book of 2019” by Good Housekeeping), Privilege (Today.com “Best Summer Read”), and Palm Beach (New York Post “Best Book of 2021” and “like a sandy beach, equal parts beautiful and uncomfortable” according to the Associated Press). My memoir, You Might Feel A Little Pressure, was released by Third Rail Press in 2025.

My books have been published in 13 countries, and I've written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Slate, and more. I founded an MFA-alternative, The Book Incubator, which has now helped hundreds of writers finish their books over 12 months and continues supporting them through publication (yes, forever!).

When I’m not writing, I’m probably building a fort with my 7-year-old son Finn or bathing with an overpriced Lush bath bomb. I live in Dallas, where I spend my free time trying to domesticate a stubborn tabby and shamelessly watching reality TV.

========================

Social:

+ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/book.incubator

========================

#writingtips #bookwriting #writer #authortube