Overthinking doesn't always start with a bad thought. Sometimes it starts with silence, and your mind filling that silence with stories so convincing you forget they are stories. If you have ever spiralled over an unanswered message, an unreturned call, or a silence you could not explain, you will want to be a part of this conversation.

We all do it. A text goes unanswered. A WhatsApp message sits unread. A call doesn't get returned. And instead of staying with what we actually know, we start to believe things we have no evidence for.

In this episode I share a tool I learned from Dr. Susan David's work on emotional agility, the practice of separating facts from feelings, and what happened when I finally used it in a moment I really needed it.

This episode is about the space between learning a tool and remembering to reach for it when your chest is tight and your mind won't stop spinning.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL DISCOVER

• Why overthinking escalates, how small stories become elaborate certainties over days and why your mind builds them so convincingly
• The real reason silence is so unbearable, your brain would rather have a painful answer than no answer at all
• Dr. Susan David's Facts vs Feelings practice and how to use it in the moment without a journal, an app, or perfect conditions
• What I found when I separated the facts from the feelings, and why the disproportion between the two columns changed everything
• Why forgetting your tools in the middle of the spiral is not failure, it is being human
• How the distance between the spiral starting and you remembering you have something to reach for gets shorter over time
• Why "no response is a response" might be true but attaching a story to what no response means is where the damage can happen
• What it looks like to not abandon yourself in real time, not through a big gesture, but through choosing what is actually true over what your mind has built

Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

Nervous system regulation, co-regulation, polyvagal theory, somatic practices, vagal tone, sympathetic activation, parasympathetic activation, window of tolerance, neuroception. The wellness world is drowning us in terminology. But is the language actually helping you, or is it giving you one more thing to feel like you are not doing correctly?

The science is real. The science is valid. That is not what this episode questions. What this episode asks is where we are putting our focus. Because the clinical vocabulary has become the thing instead of the experience being the thing. Whether you are reading articles, listening to podcasts, or watching videos about your nervous system, there is a point where the information stops helping and starts producing the very anxiety it claims to solve.

These practices have always existed long before we had the language for them. Your body has been communicating with you your entire life. The question has never been whether you know the right words. The question has always been whether you are listening.

In this episode you will discover:

• Why wellness terminology might be creating the anxiety it claims to solve
• The important distinction between the science being real and the terminology becoming the focus
• What your body has always known how to do long before the internet named it
• Why we outsource our own knowing when we get too deep into clinical language
• The difference between studying the map and walking the path
• Why you do not need a single clinical term to validate the inner work you are already doing
• A tiny practice for the moment the information starts making you more anxious than calm

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here. From my heart to yours. 💛

Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

The Self-Love and Mental Fitness lie that you can't love anyone else until you love yourself is hurting people who are already loving beautifully. If you have ever doubted the love you give because you believe you have not yet learned to love yourself, you have been told something that is not true.

This line is one of the most repeated in the Self-Love and personal development space. It sounds wise. It gets quoted as truth. And I believe it is doing quiet, real damage to people who deserve to know that the love they are giving every single day is real.

In this episode I open with a recent client moment that lays bare the cost of this idea. Then I take the line apart. I look at what it gets wrong, why it can be cruel, and what is actually true underneath it. I also speak openly about my own decades of self-hatred and the love I held for my mother, my siblings, my nieces and my nephews during all of that time. Both were true. At the same time. For years.

Self-Love is a daily practice. It is not a qualification you earn before you are allowed to love or be loved.

This is the third in a recent thread on removing barriers on the path to Self-Love. Episode 73: You Don't Have to Like Yourself to Start Loving Yourself. Episode 74: Self-Abandonment: Why You Keep Doing It and What It's Costing You.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL DISCOVER:

• Why this line gets repeated so often we have stopped questioning it

• The recent client moment that lit the fuse for this episode

• The observable truth about how struggling humans love beautifully every single day

• What the line was reaching for and where it went wrong

• The difference between friction in loving and not being able to love

• My own story of decades of self-hatred and deep, profound love at the same time

• Why connection is often where the healing happens, not the waiting room before it

• The permission you do not need to wait for

This is an inside job. Thank you for being here. Please share this episode and follow my show. From my heart to yours.

Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey