Today, I’m talking about something that feels deeply uncomfortable for a lot of us, needing help when the numbers stop adding up.

Through the lens of motherhood, separation, and navigating finances, I share what it’s been like to realise that I can’t actually do this alone. Not because I’ve done something wrong, but because the reality of modern motherhood often doesn’t add up financially.

I talk about the shame that can come up when asking for help, especially financial help, and where that shame actually comes from.

This isn’t just about money. It’s about identity, independence, and the stories we carry about what it means to be someone who “should be able to manage”.

In this episode:

• what happens when your income and expenses stop aligning in motherhood
• why asking for help can feel so uncomfortable
• the difference between personal failure and structural reality
• how cultural and class conditioning shapes our relationship with money and support
• why systems like benefits and subsidies exist in the first place

If you’ve ever felt like you shouldn’t need help, this episode is for you.

🎧 Free resource: The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs
A short audio guide exploring the types of support modern motherhood requires, and where those gaps often are.

👉🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode?

TikTok @nataliek.martin Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

In this episode, I’m sharing the idea that sits underneath so much of this podcast: the motherhood debt.

It’s the hidden cost of becoming a mother, not just financially, but emotionally, relationally, mentally and practically too.

I talk about the moment I realised I felt like I was drowning, why so many mums end up blaming themselves, and what I started to notice in conversations with other women.

Different struggles. Same underlying weight.

I also break down the different debts so many of us carry, from identity and relationships to time, energy, support and money.

This episode is the foundation for everything that follows. If motherhood has ever felt heavier than you expected, this will put language to it.

🎧 Mentioned in this episode:
The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.

👉🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

In this episode, Natalie reflects on how expectations around Mother’s Day can quietly shift after children arrive. What was once about celebrating your own mum can suddenly become multi-generational, bringing different traditions, assumptions, and sometimes tension about how the day should be spent.

Natalie also explores a deeper question: do mothers actually need one day of appreciation, or something more consistent than that?

Flowers, cards, and breakfast in bed are lovely, but they are not the same as everyday support. In modern motherhood, the small, practical moments of care and shared responsibility often matter far more than symbolic gestures once a year.

This episode looks at how resentment in relationships often builds through tiny moments over time, and why the opposite is also true. Small acts of support can quietly strengthen a partnership and help mothers feel less alone in the weight of family life.

Natalie also introduces the idea behind her Five Villages Every Mum Needs framework, which explores the different forms of support mothers need in modern life.

If Mother’s Day has ever felt more complicated than joyful, this conversation will likely resonate.

If this resonates, you can download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.

👉🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

You’re told to stay calm. Keep explaining. Offer choices. Negotiate gently. But what happens when you’ve repeated yourself ten times and nothing changes?

In this episode of The Mama Circle Podcast, Nat shares a shift she’s been experimenting with during the toddler years: stepping away from endless negotiation and allowing safe, natural consequences to do the teaching instead with FAFO (F*ck Around, Find Out) parenting.

This isn’t about abandoning gentle parenting or becoming stricter. It’s about recognising that much of modern parenting advice assumes unlimited patience, time and emotional capacity, conditions most parents simply don’t have.

Because parenting doesn’t happen in ideal circumstances. It happens when you’re tired, running late, overstimulated, and trying to hold an entire household together at the same time.

Drawing from real-life toddler moments, Nat explores what changed when she stopped trying to control every outcome and started getting curious instead of exhausted.

Inside this episode:

• why negotiation stops working with some toddlers

• parenting strong-willed children without constant conflict

• the exhaustion of endless repetition

• boundaries versus “being soft” in modern parenting culture

• letting go of control without becoming harsh or reactive

• why toddlers often learn through experience rather than explanation

If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing because parenting feels harder than it’s supposed to, this episode offers a different perspective.

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re parenting inside real constraints.

If this resonates, you can download my free audio guide, The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs, where I talk more about the support structures modern mothers are navigating.

👉🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

We talk about prenups for money, but we don't talk about prenups for parenting. But separation with children is not rare. And very often, the hardest conversations are often the ones we need the most.

In this episode, I reflect on:

• Why hope collapses quickly under separation and divorce

• How childcare arrangements quietly shape power

• What maintenance is really about

• Mobility, location, and who gets to move

• Decision-making when you no longer trust each other

• Why clarity is not unromantic

• Why protecting children from the worst versions of their parents matters

This is not about predicting failure.
It is about recognising that love and structure are not the same thing.

If you are happily partnered, this episode still matters.
If you are separating, it may feel painfully familiar.

And if you are somewhere in between, I hope it gives you language.

If you want to go deeper into support structures around separation, download my free audio guide The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs. Because when relationships shift, support becomes everything.

👉🏽 ⁠⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

This week, I’m recording from my bed, feeling that familiar end-of-day heaviness where you’ve done a lot but couldn’t neatly list what it was.

Life doesn’t feel chaotic.
It just doesn’t feel spacious either.

In this episode, I talk about what a maintenance season actually looks like in motherhood, especially after separation, when logistics increase and capacity doesn’t.

Waking at 5am when it works, not forcing it when it doesn’t.
Batch cooking to reduce decisions.
Letting non-urgent emails sit.
Filling out government forms in fragments.
Choosing structure over spontaneity.

Not because ambition has disappeared.
But because time and energy are finite.

We talk about:

• The difference between growth seasons and maintenance seasons
• How separation quietly increases admin, responsibility and mental load
• Why structure can feel stabilising instead of restrictive
• The pressure to advance or reinvent
• Maintenance as consolidation rather than stagnation

This episode sits in time and energy debt, with a quiet thread of identity shift underneath.

If this episode resonates, start with my free audio guide: The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs — a free audio guide naming the kinds of support modern mothers are missing, and why love alone isn’t enough. 👉🏽 ⁠⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

This week I’m responding to a Reddit thread titled:

“How the heck are we all okay with this scam?”

The post describes what so many families are living:

• Dual income just to stay afloat

• Hyper-scheduled days

• Childcare costs exploding

• Zero margin

• No real time with your own children

And the question underneath it all:

Is this just what family life is now?

In this episode, I’m not fixing it.

I’m naming it.

We explore:

• Why shrinking your life isn’t a universal solution

• Why “just spend less” misses the point

• The structural pressures shaping modern parenthood

• Why this feels personal, but isn’t

Because when you change the lens from “I’m failing” to “this system wasn’t built for families”, something shifts.

If this episode resonates, start with my free audio guide: The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs — a free audio guide naming the kinds of support modern mothers are missing, and why love alone isn’t enough. 👉🏽 ⁠The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.

Why does one parent end up carrying the routines, the logistics, the emotional regulation, while the other gets to be the fun one?

In this episode, I’m talking about the dynamic so many families fall into quietly, the default parent and the fun parent. It’s not usually chosen. It forms over time, shaped by outdated structures that no longer fit modern motherhood.

Often, one parent holds the weekday grind. School or nursery logistics, sick days, emotional regulation, planning, remembering, keeping everything moving. The other shows up for the highlights. The outings, the treats, the memories. On the surface, it can look harmless. Even generous. But over time, this imbalance can quietly breed resentment and disconnect.

This episode was shaped by conversations around separation and co-parenting, but it applies just as much to families who are still together. These roles exist inside relationships too, and they often go unnamed until something starts to break.

This is not about blaming individuals. It’s about naming a system that distributes responsibility and joy unevenly, and asking what that does to our experience of motherhood, our relationships, and our connection with our children.

In this episode, we explore:

• How default parent and fun parent roles form without discussion

• Why responsibility and joy have been unevenly distributed in modern families

• How resentment builds quietly, without conflict or drama

• Why fairness doesn’t mean 50/50, but it does mean shared access to joy

• Why fun shouldn’t be a reward for surviving motherhood

If this resonates, you might also like Episode 2, How do you want your motherhood to feel?

Free resource:
The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs — a free audio guide naming the kinds of support modern mothers are missing, and why love alone isn’t enough. 👉🏽 The 5 Villages Every Mum Needs⁠

🫂 Join a loving community of mums in IT'S A LOT – free for 30 days.

We talk about this kind of stuff in It's A Lot. So, if you’re feeling shaky having brought your new baby home, in the trenches of toddlerhood or just need a place to share the joys of being a mama with people who get it, this is your new support network. The best part? It’s all via voice notes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.nataliekmartin.com/mama-circle⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Want to share your thoughts on this episode? Comment on Spotify or:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@natalie.kmartin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠info@nataliekmartin.com⁠⁠

☕️ Support my work: if you’re enjoying my podcast, you can buy me a virtual coffee here! Thank you 🫶🏽 ⁠buymeacoffee.com/nataliekmartin⁠⁠⁠

📢 Don’t forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode

New episodes every Wednesday🎧 Subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review — it really helps other mums find the show.