Smitten Audiobook By Ph.D. Tom Bellamy cover art

Smitten

Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last

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Smitten

By: Ph.D. Tom Bellamy
Narrated by: John Hopkins
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A groundbreaking exploration of the psychology of infatuation, how to recognize it, and how to move beyond it towards a healthier experience of love.

“Butterflies” in the stomach, intrusive thoughts, fantasies about imaginary scenarios, mood swings from euphoria to despair… aren't these all the familiar hallmarks of new love? Not quite. These are characteristics of the psychological state of “limerence,” also known as obsessive, passionate or addictive love that can become unhealthy.

Millions of people experience limerence at some point in their life. In this book, neuroscientist Tom Bellamy explores advances in neuroscience since the term was coined in the 1970s, and sheds light on this little-understood element of the human experience. Discover:

· what drives limerence
· how to recognize limerence in yourself and others
· how to manage the phases of addiction to another person
· how to move past it to sustain longer, more fulfilling relationships.

With supportive advice about next steps, this audiobook will help listeners struggling with unwanted feelings to find emotional equilibrium. Rooted in neuroscience, Smitten offers practical guidance for those experiencing obsessive love and seeking a path to a healthy relationship.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press Essentials

 Love, Dating & Attraction Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships

Critic reviews

"Neuroscientist Bellamy's book might last longer than a typical spell of limerence, ably distilling 50 years of research into accessible, engaging prose ... Illuminating and helpful."--Library Journal

"As someone who has studied and written about the science of love, I find Dr Bellamy's Smitten to be a masterful exploration of limerence – one of love's most intense and mysterious manifestations. His unique integration of neuroscientific expertise with deep empathy for the limerent experience creates an invaluable resource for both professionals and those seeking to understand their own overwhelming romantic feelings."
—Dr. Liat Yakir, author of A Brief History of Love

"A wise and generous life raft for anyone lost in a crush."
—Natasha Lunn, author of Conversations on Love
All stars
Most relevant
This book is the most comprehensive title I’ve read on the subject of limerence. I’ve lived through and felt most of these reactions to relationships and am learning what a mature relationship might look like with the help of this book. Thank you Dr. Tom Bellamy for sharing your knowledge!

Outstanding

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I needed this book 2 years. as a spouse of a limerant prone person. it helps that it is geared towards a new generation and what we deal with in this day and age.

2 years ago

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This book captures limerence perfectly. Reading it felt like someone finally put a completly confounding experience into words and tackled the 'why' as best as anyone EVER could. I’ve also read Debhar Tennov’s book, and this one covers the topic much more effectively.

For anyone who’s lived through limerence — or is still in it — this book will make you feel seen, understood, and not alone. It’s rare to find something that describes the experience so accurately, and while it’s one of the hardest things a person can go through, the self-discovery that follows is profound.

If you have had limerance, this book is a must read. If you’ve never experienced it, I hope you never do. But if you know… you know.

One more note — I love the narration in this book. It’s perfect: soothing, with just the right hint of mystery. Limerence is a serious + scary, and the narrator captures that mood beautifully. It’s far more enjoyable to listen to than those overly clinical narrations. The narrator’s style actually reminds me of someone who’d read for a Ken Follett novel.

Dr. Bellamy, thank you for caring. I hope this book makes you a ultra rich because you deserve it.

If You Know, You Know

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Entertaining, especially around Valentine’s Day. However, I hadn’t experienced an academic turning a personal blog into a research study before, and wasn’t strong enough research to convince me. However, I will keep an eye on future research from additional scholars. In the meantime, I’m placing this on the Instagram/fad/wellness bookshelf.

A bit of a stretch

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I have limerance, and I have been working on overcoming it for years. I bought this audiobook because I'm considering dating again, and I don't want to fall into my old habits. Unfortunately, this book made me feel ashamed of my limerance and my dating past.

I found the message of the last chapter incredibly belittling and unsatisfying: find purpose and you'll get over limerance. Nonsense. You can lead a purposeful life and still have limerance. As the author repeatedly pointed out in the previous chapters, limerance is more complex than that.

Though this book has some practical tips, it wasn't helpful for me.

Still waiting on the "How to Make Love Last" advice

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