The County Fair Queen Audiobook By Lance Lansdale cover art

The County Fair Queen

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Everyone loves a comeback.

It's been fifteen years since former boyband member and wine vineyard heir Phillip Firecracker retreated from the spotlight. Since then, he's been happy enough living out the rest of his days as a recluse, with only his murderous tabby, and unpaid intern-slash-best (only) friend for companionship. When his former band members reunite without Phillip, publicly snubbing him, Phillip vows to upstage them. That's where Nostalgia Nation (America's #17 source for D-list reality TV) comes in.

When production for a seven-episode streaming series sends Phillip back to his hometown to grand marshal the annual Muscadine Madness fair, his career comeback takes a backseat. Now, his only goal is avoiding Mayor Rivers Rivera, the (alleged) man behind a homophobic prank that led to Phillip’s being crowned 2001’s Muscadine Queen. Unfortunately, with Rivers being mayor, number one local talk talk show host, organizer of this year’s fair, and Phillip’s one-man welcome wagon, that’s going to be a bit tricky.

With drama severely lacking, Phillip is given no choice. If he wants this show to be a success, he’s going to have to resort to something tried and true. Like a comeback, everyone loves a love story, even if it’s with the one man Phillip has no desire to associate with. When an old childhood flame begins to crackle, Phillip realizes he’s going to have to make a choice. His comeback, or his mayor.

The County Fair Queen is a single-POV, low-heat, slow burn. Heavy humor. Heavy heart. Slightly unhinged.

©2025 Lance L Lansdale (P)2026 Lance L Lansdale
Romance Romantic Comedy Royalty
All stars
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Let me first start out by saying, I love Lance Lansdale! I love his characters, the quirky books he rights and his cover art.

At first, I was a little confused by the narrator's accent but as the story progressed, I understood more. Phillip Firecracker is a has been star who is trying to reignite his career. He goes home to his hometown of Tallulah, Texas to film a reality show. This is where he once again meets his former crush, Rivers Rivera also know as the "the boy who runs." The road to love is a campy joyride! I laughed so many times and had my heart in my throat but in the end, love wins!

I definitely recommend!

What a wild Muscadine ride!

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Listener received this title free

Another adorable and hilarious story from Lance! Phillip, River & Beau were so cute and I love their little family!!

Obsessed!

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