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A few weeks ago, a dear friend asked me a question, she asked, "How do I stay in my healthy feminine even when I'm angry or upset, because those feel like such masculine emotions and energy to me ". We hear feminine and immediately we think soft, sweet and unruffled. But that is not what feminine energy is. It is not about staying quiet so others can have their way, it is not about playing small so others feel big. Feminine energy is powerful, and beautiful. It is the other half of masculine energy, these two together are the energy of creation. They are not opposites, they perfectly balance each other. So a woman can absolutely be angry and still feminine, the key is to stay connected to herself and what feels best for her. Anger is a human emotion, not a feminine or masculine emotion. What determines if you show up in wounded or healthy energy is how you relate to and express yourself. Healthy Feminine allows herself to feel, express and stay connected to herself. Wounded feminine suppresses and becomes overwhelmed, and wounded masculine will try to control, attack or over correct. It's important to see the healthy qualities in contrast to the unhealthy. The goal is not to avoid anger, but to stay connected to yourself WHILE feeling angry. A woman in her healthy feminine will be honest but not explosive, expressive but not harsh, and stay connected not reactive. The real question here is, HOW....how do we do that in the midst of anger or being upset. It will take practice, but I promise, this works! I call it my GRACE model. It is a 5 step process to keep yourself connected to your healthy feminine and grounded in who you are. G - grounding. This is HUGE! When we get angry our body is activated but usually not in a good way, so we need to reconnect to our body using our feminine energy. We do this by pausing, taking deep breaths, dropping your shoulders and focusing on where your body is touching the earth (feet if standing, back or legs if sitting). When you reconnect to your body, you can process emotions and stay present much easier and faster. R - recognize and name the real emotion you are feeling. Anger is often covering up your true feeling/emotion. Ask yourself, what am I really feeling? Do you feel sad, hurt, unseen, disrespected, unsafe? Instead of "I'm mad", you might realize you feel something else. Feminine energy is very honest with herself, so this is key, dig deep and find out what you are really feeling so it can be addressed. A - accept the feelings you are feeling. This is a VERY important step, do not dismiss yourself. Your feminine energy needs to be validated and if you skip this step you are dismissing your feelings. It's 100% valid for you to be feeling whatever emotion or feeling you are feeling. You can not heal what you refuse to accept. This might look like you telling yourself something like this "It makes sense that I feel this way", or "of course this upset me". This prevents you from suppressing it (wounded feminine) or exploding (wounded masculine). C - Connect to yourself and God. Ask yourself, "What is God's job, and what is my job" and "God, who do you want me to be on the other side of this". When you ask these questions, pause, and let the answers come. I promise they will. These two questions will help guide you to the resolution that will feel best for YOU! None of this is for the other person, you are not doing any of this to make it easier or better for them! This is 100% internal and for you. Of course by default, it will be better for everyone, but the goal of healing feminine energy is not so that we can fix everything for others. It's so we can heal ourselves and show up with authenticity and as the best version of you. E - Embody the person you chose to be. When you get the feelings from God of who he wants you to be and what steps to take to be that person, DO IT! Show up for yourself, and do the things you need you to do. It might look like being really honest and say something like "I don't feel comfortable with that", or "I need us to handle this differently", or it could just be you walking away and not saying anything. You do not need to attack, or over explain yourself. Stay clear and grounded in what feels best for you. The bottom line is, you don't stay in your feminine by not getting angry or upset, you stay in your feminine by staying connected to yourself while feeling angry. That's it. That's the key. I have used this countless times and each time I walk away with more clarity and more confidence. I hope this helps!

XoXo Adelle

How do you let go of blame and anger towards those who have hurt or wronged you? After leaving my abusive and toxic relationship I spent years working towards and for this exact thing. I knew I wanted peace, but I wasn't sure exactly how to let go and move on. One day I realized that I was finally ready to let it go, just like that. I looked back on the healing I had done and realized that the key to letting go, is radical self acceptance and love. For months leading up to this realization, I had been working through my GRACE model. G-grounding, R-recognize emotion/feeling, A-accept and love self through emotions/feelings, C-Connect with God, ask him who he wants me to be on the other side and E-embody the change I was being asked to make. Any change we want to make must first be made from Love. You cannot hate yourself better, you can only love yourself better. I hope you enjoy this episode where I walk you through the GRACE Model, and show you how to get to the healing a peace you ultimately want.

XoXo Adelle

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I've gotten a few questions lately on why it's important to know and understand feminine and masculine energy and how that relates to inner work and becoming your best self. So I wanted to do an episode on that today and share with you my journey and how everything changed for me once I healed my energies.

I briefly give a back ground on the idea of feminine masculine, a little history persay, how feminine and masculine energies have been known and recognized since the 4th century BC, but they were known as Yin/Yang, or Shiva/Shaki. They were known for their qualities, not the gender. Both men and women have both energies, every living thing on this planet does, they are the energies of life and creation.

I walk you through exact steps to healing your feminine/masculine energies and what that looks like, feels like and how things around you start to change.

I hope this episode resonates and blesses your life as much as it has blessed mine.

XoXo Adelle

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