It Didn't Start with You Audiobook By Mark Wolynn cover art

It Didn't Start with You

How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

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It Didn't Start with You

By: Mark Wolynn
Narrated by: Mark Wolynn
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Buy for $18.00

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A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field

Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.

As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

Includes a bonus PDF with diagrams and writing exercises

Accolades & Awards

Most Popular
Psychology & Mental Health Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders Personal Development Mental Health Psychology Health Personal Success Inspiring Childhood Trauma Overcoming Childhood Trauma

Critic reviews

One of Healthline’s 13 Best Mental Health Books of 2022
One of Cosmopolitan’s 15 Books About Mental Health That Everyone Should Read
One of Men’s Health’s 20 Best Mental Health Books to Read in 2022
One of Choosing Therapy’s 10 Best PTSD & Trauma Books for 2021
Winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in Psychology
Finalist for the 2016 Books for a Better Life Award

“Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors’ unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills—an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection—to free and heal ourselves.”
—James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression

“It Didn’t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness

“This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing.”
—Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

“Mark Wolynn’s extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again—once you understand how history made you. Full of life-changing stories, powerful insights, and practical tools for personal healing, It Didn't Start With You deserves a place on your bookshelf next to Alice Miller’s The Drama of the Gifted Child and Dan Siegel’s The Developing Mind. You’ll never see your family the same way again.”
—Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom

“Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn’t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn’s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.”
—Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center’s Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health

“After reading It Didn’t Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn’s techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It’s truly cutting edge.”
—Alexanndra Kreps, MD
Insightful Healing Approach • Valuable Family Exploration • Calming Voice • Transformative Exercises • Clear Intonation

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if you feel the weight of past generations or even wonder why you can't shake this no matter how hard you work....read this. the PDF is incredible

it works.

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Interesting topic but very dark and depressing stories. I also found it hard to listen narrator’s dramatic reading style.

Too depressing

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I had the pleasure of attending Mark Wolynn's book signing at The Open Center, NYC. His story and technique were demonstrated to the audience, and I was hooked. I attended his 6 hr workshop the very next day at Open Center. I also downloaded this book after the book signing and have integrated many of his techniques described and have made huge strides with recognizes patterns and trends occurring in my life, helping me feel more at peace with myself. His voice is mesmerizing, his story compelling, and the impact of this combinstion is what you allow it to be.

A personal therapy session with Mark Wolynn

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I love this book, the content was so needed in healing ancestral trauma. The narrator was great, I really understood the material. it sunk into my bones. The insights he provided with the examples of ancestral trauma were powerful. In providing such examples, I was allowed to have insights of my own very easily. It was through this audiobook that I found out that my mother and I both had similar drowning experiences when we were both around the same age. That is why we both fear water. But with the way this book is presented, I uncovered even deeper fears. This is the event where I feel like my greatest fear is in dying alone. No one was there to help me, so I fear that everyone will leave and I will die alone. Just incredible insights for a person to have and I'm thankful for it. I don't think I would have ever have gotten such insights without this book. Highly recommend this book to heal ancestral trauma and identify any fears that you have. Incredible resource.
I will say though that I don't know my father, so it was a little triggering when hearing about traumas involving the father. Just being upset that I don't know what all happened on that side, and feeling like I can't heal it. The author does say you don't need to know these people in order to heal, but with all the examples provided of why people feel the way they do and why they struggle, it makes it hard. Like I would like to know why I fear dying alone, did someone die alone in my family? seems like I will never know. But I have still reached incredible insights thanks to this book, so I would still highly recommend.

insights abound

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This book is truly inspiring! It really opened my eyes to what has been holding me back for years and helped me start leaving those feelings with those they started with. If you are feeling lost in your life, please read this. I want to share it with everyone because of how much it helped me. Well done Mark!

Truly inspiring!

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